.: Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds :.

Monday, July 28, 2008

I ♥ Squadron 11:59 PM

"You got it all wrong. Yes, I was thnkng abt it just nw, not in a sense of serious break, but i knw u realised tht my behavior changed eversince i start work. Da dua kali u mention tht i besar kepale, i pijak atas kepale u. I tak tahu y i jadi mcm gini. Frankly speaking, i sendiri takut dgn my perangai. Sebab tu i cry non stop. The sense of fear and insecurity is huge. And bcoz of it kite asyik gaduh.
Thts y i took the ring off, to reflect and fikir balik, kalau ape i buat ni i btul yakin dgn diri i, kalau i yakin i blh jage hati my future husband. U sendiri tahu, tht it is not easy to jage isi hati org.
Its not abt u, its abt me. Wht u kate tadi memang btul. U did the right thng to tegur me. I btul bersyukur tht im with someone yg btul2 can lead me correctly.
I harap you tak fikir lain, i harap u kasi i xplain. Mcm tadi, i kasi u xplain, nw, pls let me xplain.
U suroh me blg u, tapi u tak nak dgr ke?
I paham u binget, tapi dgr dulu my reason. Then u judge me k."

"The feeling is how u rase bile u tahu ape kekurangan dlm diri kalau u bandingkan diri u, dgn diri org yg lebih berpangkat, lebih mewah.
I hope u just let me xplain. I bukan buat gini pasal i nak cari sebab to go with other guys. Kalau i btul2 niat mcm gi2, siang2 i da lari kan diri."

"Mama u ok?
Dry yr tears mama
Papa always beside mama.papa help mama k. papa tak leave mama alone.papa love mama so much.dis is d time mama need papa."

Sometimes things do get complicate for us both. We're in different phase of our own lives. He's all grown up, struggling to find success in life by 40. While me, I've just stepped to this adult world, officially. Find the real person that I'll become when I reach his age, finding jobs and gaining experiences in life. It feels great and contented you have someone who can really lead you in life, but sometimes, I still find myself immature when i compare myself to him, like my thinking is still of a teen, while his thinking is adulthood, financial and family, work and commitment. Whereby me? All i think is njoying still, shop and travel around.

But he made a promise to me, which I felt touch and confident to go on and find my own self. I hope you mean what you say, and I believe every word you say. Because I don't think I'll find someone else who can really understand and able to read me, like how you can, inside out.

"Tonight will be night that I will fall for you. Over again. I won't live to see another day. A girl like you is impossible to find", Squadron.