Wednesday, February 28, 2007
I ♥ Squadron
11:40 PM
"Am I supposed to be happy? With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price."It's true isn't it. There's no gain when there's no pain. But the pain to go through it is just too cruel. In life, sometimes somethings remain unfair, and you can't fight for that right, coz it just am too complicated. Some promises are just meant to be broken, others are kept for life. But when the promise is broken, to believe another take lots of risk and take time to suck it in. Lost in a simple game cat and mouse are we the same people as before this came to light, will things remain the same, or will it just fade away? I'm just having doubts at things now.. I kept thinking of how I should react to things, and whether my reaction is the best way.. It's too hard to think straight when all you feel is a cold heart. I'm just am not satisfied with where I'm at..
I ♥ Squadron
9:43 PM
Last paper ended at 10:30 today for me. No more mugging, plus no more stressed! What I hope now is that I get good results plus my GPA is higher now. Aiming for future studies to get a degree or maybe who knows, I'll end up teaching? Sheesh. K'corlav had their last photo today. Then we're all up to our own path now. Year3 is coming in few weeks. I can still remember what happened during orientation. Attachment, projects and few lessons and we're graduates. Had a real good time with the mates, luck for everyone! And my dear Fidah, it'll be saddening to see you not with us now.. And Marcus, welcome! Hehe..
Year 1 and Year 2
We had Tim Sum and Lor Ma Kai from Cheers before heading home!
Mama make her first Kueh Keria today. Never tried it before so she decides to give it a go. Instead of using almost-caramel sugar, she used gula melake. The sweet potatoes are boiled, mashed, shaped into pieces. Yuumm....
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
I ♥ Squadron
2:22 PM
I wish for a type player. Where I could freeze time, stop time or simply rewind. I can't seem to concentrate. Today's paper was damn shitting. Networking doesn't seem to be on my side, neither is fate. I figured everytime when everything seems to be alrite, something will strike and simply turn everything against me. I wanna freeze till the end of exams. Where I could just simply ignore any news that gets to me and simply concentrate, if i have the ability. Sigh. It hurts. I'm broken. I gotta be honest. I can't take it anymore.
Help me dear
I keep feeling
the pain,
I wanna get
over this I'm
in total vain.. :(
Monday, February 26, 2007
I ♥ Squadron
11:49 PM
The world's got a funny way of turning 'round on you
When a friend tries to stab you right in the face
Losing faith in everything I thought I hoped I knew
Don't sweat it, it was set on false pretense
Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
And it doesn't seem likely to fade
Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
Cuz you know...
It's sacrifice
False pretense you'll hurt again
Stop pretending to deny
False pretense you'll hurt again
All along you know you thought you got the best of me
You were wrong and I'm laughing right in your face
I cannot believe you claimed you were my family
Don't sweat it, it's set on false pretense
It's time to let it go
I can't seem to understand it how you turned out to be so cold
You tried but were caught red handed, are you happy with your role?
It's funny to me how you've turned into such a joke...
So play the game until you run out
And play the game into my hand
I ♥ Squadron
7:31 PM
I smile when I think of him. I smile to know that he's still with me, and I hope will always be. I smile to know that I'm glad I've found him. I smile to know that he makes me smile, makes me happy, makes me weak.
Sometimes, when it is so hard to smile when someone hurts you, think of the good, magical things that you share with that person. Then you'll come to your senses and make the wise decision, think of a solution that involves logic and a heart, think as a human being. It's not always rainbows and butterflies. As much happiness you have, the amount of sadness equals.
We fall and stumble. Sometimes not once, but double. We came to face a hardship, me and the boyfriend. The past is a nightmare for many, thus I won't blame for people who can't accept the past.
But let me stand for my statement:
The past shall remain the past, whatever or however bad it could have been, it was the past and it can't be amend. Stop staying scared about something that has happened. Instead, change your ways and make things better. Change the past if and only if your heart says it's ready. Spur of the moment will make things worst. The reason why you go through nightmares is to let you be more wary and make you learn, not to make you so afraid of the future or make you think that you're useless.
Came to know things I don't wanna know. I thank U for being honest. I won't say: Now I know who you really are. But instead, all I have in mind is that you're a human being and at least I know that you still need some help in amending your ways. I won't stay mad or hold any grudges. I just wanna help and make things better. Forget the nightmare and work for the dream. I may be broken, but I don't feel right when you're gone away. I won't pretend that the amount of trust divides, but I won't pretend that turst cannot be built up again. I do have zillions of unanswered questions but is it important? What matters is the question of the heart is answered and what matters most is, you should know that the heart can't be played with. If you can't control your devilish side, hold on to yourselves and think with the right mind and the person/people that loves you. What do you have to lose when you do that? You not only get yourself out of trouble, but U wouldn't hurt others and you wouldn't hurt yourself.
An unwonded heart is a glass cause the broken heart has turned to stone.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
I ♥ Squadron
10:12 PM
I ♥ Squadron
10:02 PM
It's Zakk's birthday today! He's turned two.. And the party was like crampy but fun. More of like childhood memories for us. And some of use are married, working and full-time houswives, while left with few who are still schooling. Like me. Hehe. The cake was nice! Plus the food.
I ♥ Squadron
3:28 AM
.:SAGITTARIUS:.
The Sexy one
Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? Not the kind of person you wanna MESS with . you might end up crying.
Read it and have a good laugh.. WAHAHAH!
I ♥ Squadron
1:00 AM
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a
REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a
SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime. I'm just real glad that you actually came and at least once existed in my life for whatever it is.
But why am I in your life? Is it for a Lifetime, a Season or was it simply because of a Reason?
To the Boyfriend, I did came to your life for a Reason, in that one Season of your life that was a living hell. But I wish and pray that I could stay with you for a Lifetime.
Friday, February 23, 2007
I ♥ Squadron
11:08 PM
It's nearing the weekend. And finally Friday's here again! Erm, honestly, I wasn't looking forward to this Friday, partially because he's not booking out today plus Friday = 2 days to exam! And I'm scared shit and pretty much in total stress. Although been mugging much these few weeks, but am just soooo scared!
Self studied at TP library today at the 8th floor with Ms Siti. Well, the environment is pretty much relaxed but the view was excellent! From the window I was, I could see beautiful garden plus the reservoir.
Gave TM a visit and some groceries shopping plus wrappers after dinner at KFC. Had yummy Banditos and pretty much regretted cause I'm suppose to be saving plus I think I gain pounds here. Sheesh. Now back to books or maybe comfy bed.
Can't wait to meet him tomorrow!!
Sheesh, am I sounding so desperate? Nahh... Miss him terribly!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
I ♥ Squadron
8:13 PM
What does it mean by pure
true love? And the real meaning by the vow "Till death do us apart?". I came across this piece of news in the bus from home days ago. Interestingly love.
Do you feel the love they had? Well I do.
ROME (Reuters) - Call it the eternal embrace.
Archaeologists in Italy have discovered a couple buried 5,000 to 6,000 years ago, hugging each other.
"It's an extraordinary case," said Elena Menotti, who led the team on their dig near the northern city of Mantova.
"There has not been a double burial found in the Neolithic period, much less two people hugging -- and they really are hugging."
Menotti said she believed the two, almost certainly a man and a woman although that needs to be confirmed, died young because their teeth were mostly intact and not worn down.
"I must say that when we discovered it, we all became very excited. I've been doing this job for 25 years. I've done digs at Pompeii, all the famous sites," she told Reuters.
"But I've never been so moved because this is the discovery of something special."
A laboratory will now try to determine the couple's age at the time of death and how long they had been buried.
In a Valentines Day gift to the country, scientists said they are determined to jointly remove and preserve the remains of the couple buried 5,000 to 6,000 years ago, their arms still wrapped around each other in an enduring embrace.
This is simply sweet. Imagined the story they might have. Maybe it was forbidden love. That their families disagree in their relationship. Maybe they were running away. Look at the skeletons closely. One hand is holding on to the cheek of the other.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
I ♥ Squadron
9:40 PM
Exams are just next week! This is pathetically scaryy.. Thus this is what I've been doin 75% of my time, which I usually play Sims2 or just slack. The other 15% includes sleep, eat, tiny enjoyment and boyfriend. Haha! Studied at deserted CoffeeBean @ Expo with Hasli today. Ate Myojo for dinner coz we were starving. Haha. This is what I'll be doing for the rest of February. Haiz.
Btw Hasli claimed he was looking hot, I said he look like a roasted pork on a reunion table. All red.
And poor lil Darwisy. He had a great fall today. Which scared the shit off me when my sis said Marriage Crisis. I thought it was something worse. He suffered bleeding nose, plus some bruises and bumps. To think he's ruggart, he keeps on running and fell again the next day which his dad brought him to cycling. You just couldn't stop running could U Arwisy? I'm depressed, my dear nephew is hurt. But he's still as active as ever! Get well soon kay Abang. Got to help Ibu look after adik.
He asked me to snap him a photo. And mind you, he was smiling kay. That is how he smiles when U ask him to.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I ♥ Squadron
11:31 PM
Another beach day for me! Went to East Coast beach with my whole family plus the in-laws to bbq gathering and had fun there. The beach was awesomely packed with people and I must say that I had fun. Eventhough I was in pain due to my sunburn, I still wanted to go. Thus early prevention and cure.
Sun block plus after sun.
Food glorious food as usual. And I played soccer with Darwisy! I must say that he's full of energy! There were games which I was too old to participate plus gift exchange. And guess what Kak Aida won? Another electronic kettle! Wahaha! Guess you're fated to boil more water. Fetch Nana from work later on and then headed home. It was a great PH!
Saturday, February 17, 2007
I ♥ Squadron
11:09 PM
I've got the worst sun burn anyone could ever imagine. My friend said it's 5 shades down my color.. And I simply explain, PAIN! Argh. The temperature is so high then we I touch the sun burnt skin, I can feel the difference so much. Goodness. Due to today's nasty sun.. But it was worth it!
Check out the nasty sun burn!
I ♥ Squadron
10:42 PM
This is what we call, patience is a virtue! Here comes saturday plus long weekend.. Which simply means beach for me and
the boyfriend! We celebrated our Vdae today.. And it was one hella fun! After weeks of planning, plus argument and cash plus patience, we finally came to this day. This is like Vdae Celebration, with first picnic / bbq together and also some quality time. There were plenty of good food. With spicy bbq chicken which he marinated from home, fresh prawns bbq with butter, hotdogs, mac and cheese plus fried rice which i made from home with our signature, marshmellows! YUM! Got ourselves a huge tent, plenty of mats and one time bbq set with plenty of charcoal and fire starter! I must say that we do lotsa fun with that. Reached as early as 9.10am and we left at 8pm! Now we know what to expect, I must say that we should do this again! Hehe! Why not
Sayang? Can't wait for the next one!
It surely was a fun
Valentine's Day!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
I ♥ Squadron
10:28 AM
"Broken"
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain'
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away
You don't feel me here, anymore.
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
It's just so complicated. I don't hate you. I just miss U too much dearie. That sometimes I know I hurt U coz I know that there are so many things that I simply can't do with U. It's just simply not fair but it's simply not your fault. I just have your photograph with me to keep me going. I'm just so sorrie that I've been hurting U these few days. It's just not easy.
Dear Nizam,
I didn't mean it
when I said
that I hated U,
I was stupid &
foolish even lied
to U dearie.
Just wished I
could stick U to
me with glue,
Turth is I miss
U bad & I am
really sorie.
My eyes burn
when I know many
things I can't do,
With U whom
I really feel
most happie.
That's why
lately I've been
feeling blue.
But my love'll
never fade for my
SugarDandie..
I love U loads & loads &
loads &
loads Dear Nizam.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
I ♥ Squadron
10:16 PM
Vdae's today. Was today. Coz it's night now. Haha. Eventhough didn't get to celebrate it with Dear Boyfriend today, I had my fair celebration with Mum, sisters and nephews.. We went to have pratas in the morning. Then followed with groceries shopping and shopping. I mean clothes one. Mama got me a retro dress. Not really like retro but somewhere there. Will try a new way to dress with it. Long tights but converse. Great match! Nasi lemak as dinner. Head home waiting for dear Boyfriend's call. Wonder what he's thinking.. Happy Vdae everybody!
To the boyfriend, I love U loads!
