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♥ expectant .
i rock oh so much

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Name: |Shakilah|(Shark)
Age: Twenty-1 years old
Date of Birth: December16 1988
Adores: |Squadron Hisham|Music |Songwriting| Extreme Sports



I am worth $2,057,816 on HumanForSale.com
How much are you worth?

Company Logo design
♥ whispery .
shout and live for once




♥ past .
instant time travel

November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
November 2009
December 2009
May 2010

♥ adieu .
set them free

Closed Chapter
Multiply


♥ shopping .
a woman needs to shop

Authentic Victoria Secret Bags
Wardrobe 54
Paper Love Notes
Online Shopping Websites
Bake It Yourself
Izoned Caricature Card
Swiss Bake
Choc A Bloc
Personalised Towels
ScrapBooking Cove


♥ music .
music therapy

S.O.F.T
*Scape


♥ weddingAids .
once in a lifetime experience

::Flipsidewedding::
Gubahan Cinta
Cupcakes Ixora
Cupcakes Kak Yati
Lenours Touch
Jentayu Gallery


♥ adventure.
advent nature

PLK DragonBoat Team
Kiyah Splashh
AdvenTour
Combat Laser
Paint Ball
Clay Cove


♥ marathons.
year 2009

Mizuno Wave Run
Great Eastern Women 10K
Vertical Marathon>
Standard Chartered


♥ goals .
Current Target

Class 2B Liscence by 2009



♥ hear me .
wise words

"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age"

♥ Squadron's 33rd .
Sweet Memory



♥ wishList .
luxury



Friday, June 29, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 11:57 PM

My very first successfully satisfied birthday cake that I made for


my dear 4 birthday babies today!


Well, it could and should have been better if I didn't add in the chocolate chips inside of it. It's a lil hard, but overall nice! I'm sooo proud of myself.




It turned to be a lil off-tracked plan, but overall, we pretty much understood each other's problems and we're much having more fun then brooding over us spoiling the whole plan. The place was closing early, Hasli had to come late, the cake frosting was taking a long time plus it was just raining. So last resort was to be at Siti's place.


Got for Nurul Happy House watch,

And the boys boxers and briefs for them to wear! Well, the matching ones are interesting.

And the NS (Fy) a gift that sure will be of help for him! Hehe

Ouh well, some sparkling candles, food and much stupidity ends the day.



Thursday, June 28, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 10:31 PM

Someone by the friendster nick of Clark Kent, sent me this message.

"Hi Shakillah. Ever thought of playing in a band? Ok 1stly, my band lacks of a bassist and uh we're really want to make it to the top. Don't worry we're pros. You think you wanna join my band as our bassist?

Oh yeah the details...ermmm we're playing indie-pop/rock. We have a male drummer, a male guitarist, a female guitarist/vocalist and myself on keyboards...

Pls do consider huh. Hit me back with a reply!"


The most shocking news ever in my history of ninteen years!(Actually this is the 2nd time someone asked me to join his band) I really feel like laughing my hearts out!! Haha. ME? In a real band as a bassist?! What?! "It's in your head" is still in my head. My gosh, the last time I was really into bass, I flop at Bandzout. And now this?! Hehe. But this is what I've been dreaming of, being in a band. But then, I'm not sure. Things are so much different for me now, I'm more serious. But maybe, just maybe. A hobby won't do it harm wouldn't it? Consider consider.

Ouh well, a laugh would make me feel better!

Waahahahahahaahahahah......!!!!


Tuesday, June 26, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 7:51 AM

I wish for everything to be untrue. I wish that I'm in a deep sleep, a coma, that whatever I have now it's just a nightmare. Could someone please ever help me get me out of this? Could someone please help me untangle all the complicated robes that I'm holding. Where's the end to all these robes? I need help. Ya Allah. I'm at my lowest point, I'm much confused, depressed. Please someone please tell me all the stories are no true. That this is all a joke.


I ♥ Squadron 7:38 AM

Right-Left Brainers
That's ME!

Considerate, traditional, indirect type can instinctly read other's emotion, and respond friendly by natures. Although not very into taking initiatives in moving forward, but this person will always take a step back in supporting others. Stable personality and considerate, give others a being protected feeling. But the weakness is they cannot say no; regardless how unwilling they are, they will take care of others.


Monday, June 25, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 9:42 AM

Is this gonna be part of the many obstacles that I'll (We, matter of factly) be facing? If this is, could it end fast? I really can't take many obstacles one afta another, with my own life that I've yet to achieve, having things that hinders me rather than much help its putting more pressure. Sometimes things are left real mysteriously, hidden in between the boulders in the deap ocean. It won't come out like that, but it requires someone to push the boulder in order for the story it beholds to be driven out. How I wish, I could push all of the boulders, or maybe, the boulder could open up by itself. I rather hear it, and find out about its story with the person telling me, honestly, than hear from other sources, which might not be total, trustable. Either the person could hold jealousy, anger, or hatred towards Us, that they would definately place and twist the story make it sound real tragic. Ya Allah, I really need Your help in all of these. Please, show me the truth.

Getting real agitated, annoyed and stressed up. My CT's are coming.


Saturday, June 23, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 9:09 PM

Investigate first before truly believe in something that you've heard. Best solution, hearing from both sides, either side must be the real story. One of it will be the twisted logic, the other could be the truth. Don't ever be intimidated.

Being only 19, people would say that I'm still young, immature and naive. Don't ever judge me by my age or by my looks. Don't trigger me, coz once you start, there'll be no ending, except a regretful heart that you ever trigger me. I may be young, but I aint naive.


I want to be strong so that no one can push me around ever again. I want to weigh myself down so my feet stay on the ground. I want to become such a presence that everyone can see me. I don't ever want to become invisible. Most of all, I want to matter.




Thursday, June 21, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 11:56 PM


Maybe I'm related to Jessica Alba afterall....? Sheesh. hahaha


I ♥ Squadron 11:53 PM

GIVING UP
I used to make the light shine for you.
The sun has left my sky.
Velvet walls surround my sorrows.
I've sacrificed my pride.

Giving up on me.
You're giving up on me.

I've laid myself to sleep tonight.
I know you've played out everything in your mind.
And now you throw it all away.
A shattered memory that you would stay,
through thick and thin with me.

And when you feel the pain,
I'm wishing I could stay.
How can I say I love you back,
you never made me happy.

You've laid yourself to sleep,
I never said this wouldn't hurt.
You gave up everything;
I never said I'd give it back.
I know you'll never change;
I won't be good enough for you.

I know, you'll make it through,
I'll never be around to see.

Somehow, this reflects about what I've been trying for in the past, till I finally had to give up eventhough I promised I wouldn't. Sorry for the pain and empty promises.


Wednesday, June 20, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 2:20 AM


How sometimes suddenly in life you thought that you're over and done with something, it comes back to haunt you every single day of your life.

Reminiscence, matter of factly. It's weird isn't it. Some would say that you're not over the past, some say that there's still some feelings lingering from the past in your present. I rather declare it, as a sensitive person, whom remembers every single detail that she could squeeze to make herself remember, that it's usually plain reminiscence, of course, which some I wish to personally just pass it with just a casual remark, "I've been here sometime ago." eventhough it was then, with special someone.

It just sometimes feel so much unfairness, unanswered questions that will and can never be answered, for they are always hard to sustain or too hard to explain. Truely stabbed deep when you've placed all your trust (with all the small secrets you've ever had since you were 9) with the person whom in the ends, breaks your trust like how he breaks the ice. You let him know things that not even your close friends ever knew about. Open up your heart and let him blow you away, start to play a risky game.

Then you quit that game you feel of no use to resume. Use within all your will-power to accept to the fact, get over it, and get on with life. Never wish to be trapped in the same situation twice, to be hurt in the same way every again, but finding it impossible to meet to such extend, till you meet someone new, someone better. And when you take the stroll with the new man, when things start to linger deeply, when both couldn't get enough of each other, things somehow for you becomes emotional back again.

Maybe this happens at times when you're gonna finally get it over and done with whatever you ever went through and with whom you ever engaged to. This is the second time I've feeling this way. Maybe it's really true, "Ladies can never be left alone too long without a man." They'll start to ponder and wonder, some go astray, some becomes suddenly emotional to things that are happening around them. Only personal experiences will explain my words.

For whatever the reason it shall be that leads to where I am at, I'm glad I've gotten the chance to experience it all. I know that in this story, I must have caused some hurt and sarcastic remarks that definately would hurt anybody. For I'm truly sorry for it, hurting people is truly not my style. For mistakes that I've made, and that I'm going to make, I seek for sincere apologies to whom ever it may concern. It was truly, a great experience and memory for me.

"Am I suppose to be happy, with all I ever wanted it comes with a price."
True, but hurtful. To think that sometimes you're so near to what you've been dreaming of, but rather far from your reach. But it all fights back "No pain, no gain". Battle for your wants, till you know that you're defeated, then you stop. I know I'm working to make this new relationship work, if God will, in hope to stay with this man for eternity.

Regret isn't in my dictionary, for it's one useless feeling trying to ponder on things that can't be changed (unless you're like Tru who goes back time and saves the day). I rather place all my decisions made a wise one for I wouldn't make it then unless deem fit and never wish I could go back to the past.

Angels do cry, especially when stars collide. Just wait for the tears to dry up.


Monday, June 18, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 11:45 PM

Whoopie. Finally get to meet him afta a looonggg week for me. With him in the night shift, gotta amend our lifestyles a lil, glad I'm not the only one yearning to spend time together.

Plenty of sea on Saturday, with much good-spent time together.

Plenty of walking on Sunday, down the stretch of the busy town spot here. Visited a shop I've never entered and was amazed by it. Did some more walking and got hooked a lil with the BBoys competition. Must say they are all hidden talent, which is pretty awesome, but can do more improvement. Photos along the way before setteling with OCK for supper, and Choz for desserts in 518E.

Was some kind of an outing. Got a lil harder to let go of him everytime he sends me back. Ouh well, another 5 dreading days for me. Sigh.

Miss you!

P.S: Still wondering how the exhaust could simply fall off your bike.....


Thursday, June 14, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 5:50 AM

Shopping, Shopping, Shopping.

Accesories trip to the nearest mall and discovered a whole lot of suprised new shops that are kinda amazing.

Told dearie about the blades shop, and we're much eager to get a pair of our own.

Got bronzy necklace and earstuds.

Must save to shop something. Haha.

Miss dearie.


I ♥ Squadron 12:51 AM

Happy Birthday Nana!!

Poor her got to celebrate it alone.. Now, where's the prezzies?

Should go there to visit her. Maybe July I'm heading to Thailand. Ouh well....

SHOPPING PARADISE!!!!!


Wednesday, June 13, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 5:20 AM

Kinda getting hooked on to this online local fiction book. Interestingly love off National JC.

Believe You.


Sunday, June 10, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 11:07 PM

Botanical Gardens. Beauty of nature. Got involved lots with it since knowing someone. Saw the oldest tree of 150years old and climbed (literally) a beautiful large tree 73years old. Feasting is a necessity eversince I'm done with napfa. Sheesh. Met dearest today and spent precious time with him staring at the stars. Love it, Love him.


Saturday, June 09, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 11:53 PM

Saturday spent freely over at
Nurul's place
today as she's practically home alone today, mom in Indonesia with sis and dad working.
Me and Siti
crash over her place with much food and tidbits (xtra calories) and watched Undiscovered in the laptop as her DVD decides to turn down on us.
Mister Lover then joined us and spent hours at Coffee Bean (afta much deliberation with precious hours and jammed Starbucks)
with Farhan and a bit of Fyzal where we watched Shutter. It was real thrilling. But overall good. Sent Nurul home with dearest as his horse was parked there (and that Nurul was too scared to go home herself) Was sent home then after. Had great fun.

Nurul and Siti got to know about my situation. Guess they really understand me much. They love Hisham.

"Fight for him and try to make your parents love him lots. We can see that he really love you and makes you real happy plus, he can mix with your friends and mingle well. That's lots of plus points."

Thanks girls. I'll make sure of that.


Friday, June 08, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 11:21 PM

Today was like Cakes-Galore! Plus some pieee..!

Meet Sufian at Popeye's today with dear Sherry and asked him about his experience and all. It seems worth it plus he had so much fun with OIPP. Gosh.

Meet dearest cowboy at tamp lib and headed to Royal Cakes and he practically spent his cash on cakes and pie. Haha. Sat somewhere and enjoyed the beautiful night shimmering sky with gazillions of stars look down on us. Had so much funnnn at a simple place.

Guess it's getting deeper.


Thursday, June 07, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 7:33 PM

I've got a question tickering in my mind. If you love the person, would you do by all means to make her happy? Wouldn't you try to amend all your ways to consider and care about her feelings? In this fast-pace and challenging lifestyle that we're leading to sometimes brings lotsa complications to us about the people around us. When your promises are taken for granted, when your existance seem less important factor to the other party. When your patience are always put to the test, when you don't belong to his priority list, when you know his capabilities. When he just wouldn't listen.

I'm sure this isn't the first time it happens, I'm sure lotsa people have experience this, ladies or gentlemen. But it all sums up to the same, if your other party loves you or have some other intentions behind it all.

If you don't like to be played with, why play with other people's hearts. If you can't handle your own life, why try to take charge of other people's lives? Be responsible of your actions.

Humans are born with brains to think. With age to experience and understand. So if you've done something wrong and you end up in the losing end, then don't try to persuade the person to stay, worse come back. Learn from what you've done, don't try to make up for hurtful situations that you've cause, it'll just make the person more agitated. If the person says she doesn't like it, then stop whatever you want to do, scrap whatever you have in mind.

Don't treasure the person when she's gone, treasure her when she's there.


Wednesday, June 06, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 7:12 PM

Oipp.. Seems very quite interesting. Attachment overseas. Holiday in the rush hour, and finally I get to be away on my own. For 3 months. Brisbane, with Goldcoast just 1hr away, Movie World, Dream World, Wild Rides, Wild n Wet. Gosh. Hmm. But the money is the problem. Now. What should I doo..??


Tuesday, June 05, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 8:59 AM

To accomplish great
things,we must dream
as well as act.
By Anatole France

To hold you in my arms, I
must make sure that you
would not fall.I try to
make you happy always
dear. Having you by my
side i'm glad, happy cos you
make me smile and having
sunshine onto me

I LOVE U DEAR.

Hisham.


Sunday, June 03, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 11:22 PM

What day shall I call this day?


Sunday! Like duh?!




Did some assignment assigned to me and Sheera to be handed the next day. At Hougang Point.





Cam-whore with the person who loves taking picture more than I myself do.




Headed to Cineleisure to find that there was cosplay at *Scape. Sooooo we hung there only to be waiting a loonggg time under the sun for it to start, which we left even before it could. Heeee... Then to shop some shirt and to Borders only to find envelopes to delivery things to Nana, then we headed to East Coast to enjoy the wind and look at people fishing. Should try fishing personally. Then headed home.


Saturday, June 02, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 8:57 PM

You're the only one I can turn to,
When I'm at my darkest hour.
The only one I have is you,
Who give me the only power.

I wish that you're always here,
Be the moon that shines so bright.
My weakness is my greatest fear,
So stay and be my shining light.

We're high above the ground,
No distraction not even a sound.
We're nowhere to be found,
Even if you hear footsteps all around.

Read and catch my line,
From the start to the end.
Understand what's behind,
As my new chapter begin.

Howdy!


Friday, June 01, 2007
I ♥ Squadron 11:45 PM

SILVER!

Whoopieee! I've managed to obtain a SILVER in my NAPFA. My fitness is VERY GOOD (as indicated in the cert).

After the many weeks of pressure and muscle aches.



The controlled diet of no oil, no chilli meals. With everyday meals of roast chicken with mushroom sauce and mash potato/rice/pasta. Sandwiches and more sandwiches.


It finally paid off! I made it! Of course, with the help of that special someone. Hehehe.



Celebrated at Popeye's today to the job well done to us 4! The oily chickens, the chilli sauce and gravy made us feel so good, and kinda unhealthy. Guess maybe we've become more health conscious? Haha.



But then again, who cares??! We're done with it!!!



Presented the PT with a small token of appreciation. Though he's shagged and stress with work and personal life, he still never fail to train our rotten legs to run. And his constant encouragement and motivation and determination sure boost our moral. Thanks alot PT. You're the best!




P.S: IF our phones weren't stolen due to that one jerk, it would have really been a happy ending to NAPFA.. Haiz.