.: Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds :.

Friday, November 30, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 10:04 AM

Upcoming Quarterly Events

8th Dec, 2007 - 20th Dec, 2007
Noise Singapore 2007 Festival Showcase @ The Heeren Shops
Date : 8th – 20th December 2007
Time : 11am – 10pm

Feast your eyes on an eclectic array of Photography and Art & Design works, and groove to the beat of original music by Noise Singapore 2007 artists.Take part in on-site contests as well as vote for your favourite work online and stand to win attractive prizes like next-generation HD DVD players, shopping vouchers, limited edition Noise Singapore 2007 magazines and CDs, and other exciting merchandise from our partners!

COME DOWN AND SUPPORT ME AND MY FRIENDS! PEACEBALLS!

Wan.

His exhibit. Yay-ness!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:03 PM

A tribute to the excellent ride - MR YELLOW CBR.

Sigh, he's gone, I'm heartbroken. I'm in grief. Wakakakaka - shark giler.

Shnookie traded in his yellow horsie today. So now, we'll have to learn to take the public transport - padan muke kite, too dependent on that bike kan.

So it's time I bring that gakun Shnookie Shammy around Singapore - by BUS! It's my turn to make it interesting, prove him that public transport isn't as bad as he thinks!

Prac 1 completed, 2 more pracs to go Mr Shammy!

Met Shnookie for lunch today, finally I hear him saying that he took an OFF. Good news - he's been offered a new job. Bad news - in total dilemma, he's liking Qoptics. Pray to Allah kay, ask for directions.

He collected the iPod that he bought for me from nEbO - 4gb iPod Nano at good bargain! So sweet of him to give it to me right after the collection and rush of to BBDC.Thanks Shnookie for getting me the iPod - 1 wish down, more to go (=

Shnookie: Hows papa nya booking?Da ok mama?Thank u ya mama

Me: yup da.. No prob. Thank u papa 4 getting me an iPod.. 1 wish down more to go. Wakakaka..

Shnookie: Ish mama ni.Insyallah mama dapat.Pelan2 ya mama. mama da shalat?papa so hepi get wat mama want.Cos papa tahu mama waiting 4 d ipod, cuma color papa lupa tanya, hehehe sori mama

Me: Mama aru otw home papa. Walking bck.. Hehehe. 2lah, ingatkan ada merah or blck or pink kan best. Kena with my ear piece. Tapi takpa, blh beli the skin. Hehehe.. I like it so much papa. Very slim n cute..

Shnookie: Y not mama try to call besok bole change tak.Mama jangan bukak.Never know mama ada warna lain

Me: Hmm, nanti tmr i ask lah.. Ada yellow pun stylo. So akan ingat hari u jual motor is the day u belikan me ipod. Wakaka!

I'm in loove with the iPod now - just wondering what to do with my mp4 MuVo Vidz Creative.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 10:42 PM

"What do you know about relationship?"

That was the question I asked myself 4yrs ago. Then, I know it's a relationship with a guy, doing things together and be within the peers.

But that's a mindset of 4yrs ago .

Tho I don't have much experience in what they call courtship, I'm pretty much am not naive. Tho I may look and behave like one. Afterall, all they see in me is a 19yr old of the youngest amongst the family. Who couldn't care much but enjoying life as like a Theme Ride.

Any idea the many types of relationship a couple share? Look around an observe one day. When you're out shopping alone, or on the journey somewhere. Then maybe you'll understand.

I've seen loads of types of couples:

Serious - This couple doesn't talk much, doesn't smile much. If you see them eating at the restaurant especially, they start to be caution about their image, the way they seat and eat, the way they adress each other during course meals. The girl walks daintly and the guy tries to keep cool.

Distant - They are together, but they don't seem to have much fun together. Kay maybe they do coz if not, why are they together in the first place - but it all seems to disappear within time, maybe more of married couples with kids. The guy walks in front, leaving the woman at the back. Their tone of voices and the way they talk to each other. See them dining in and most of the time, their too busy with their other activities than each other.

Fun-loving - These fun-loving couple, are fun to look at, honestly. They have the chemistry that lingers in an unpredictable way, always smiling and laughing, oblivious to the people around them. See them eat together, the way they seat are at ease, no rules attached. Even eating seems to be a new game to them - trying to make a fool out of each other.

Romantic - One look at them, you can see that love is in the air! Always holding hands not letting go - afraid that the crowd might bring them in different ways. The guy will carry the girl's bag, and stroke her hair. The girl be truly pampered. When the dine, they tend to sit beside each other. They cuddle all the time, peck is common. The guy is the one leading the way all the time.

People around me are mused about my relationship.. Everytime. Some even thought that I'm chasing after his money/wealth - by the look of his bike. Some concluded that I've been brainwashed, given up on love, match-made.

The first question that comes out of them after aknowledging his age: "Has he ever been married?" NO. He has his reasons and NO he doesn't have any children.

I loathe the way people react when he says I'm 19. With their skanky thoughts and repellent looks.

We're the fun-loving couple. We're wary of the person we choose. I've been proven enough of younger guys - seen and heard, experience & been through. He has enough of been matched-made - doesn't want to end up marrying a girl for the sake of age. Commonality between us, why can't people see that?

We prefer something unique, individualism, no regulations, theme ride.

Just that sometimes, our only problem is - TIME.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:59 PM

FYP's begun for me - of the unlucky lot who starts ahead of the others. But who well, more databases and web designing.

Supposedly accompany Shnookie to BB Driving Centre but ending only at 6, he forgo the registration alone. Fetched me off Bkt Gmbk, headed to Holland V to check out the place. Got a motoring mag and I'm in love with the upcoming R6. Excited excited! Shammy's first Class 2 prac - Thurs @ 4pm. A waste I can't go and see him ride.

Headed home as it was ald 2300. Spent some good times together.

Shammy's gonna let go of Mr Yellow CBR thurs. I'm gonna miss you horsie. You're my favourite bike you know that.

It's got loads of memories for me.

Me: Alah, nanti thurs you let go your bike, I won't have any yellow bike to admire.

Shnookie: Ah tu lah.

Me: I like the yellow-ness of the bike seh. IT's unique, plus it's the only yellow CBR in SG.

Shnookie: That's why I bought it lah.

Me: Pandai papa.

Shnookie: Takpelah, the new R6 coming. Look forward.

Ouh, I'm parting with my love, it's heartbreaking. Hehehe.

I've got a fetish to old existance.

I ♥ Squadron 11:30 AM

Relationships all have their unique own problem. Some whose relationship brings them to drastic change, making them do things out of unwillingness. Some change them for the better, showing them the correct path for them. Some turns sour after a period of time, some sweeten things up.

It's unpredictable afterall. Nothing stays permanent in this mysterious world. Nothing says that what you have stays yours even after the official statement. That includes contracts and marriages.

I emphatise my girlfriends.

One's got an extremely possessive and emotional partner. Who forces her to do things unwillingly, control her social life and makes her extremely trap in the cage. She even deleted her friendster a/c in the end, having the boyfriend checking up on her personal things. Get worked up with the tiniest bit of things.

With some girlfriends being neglected by their partners. Leaving them doing things by themselves, not much love rain being poured at them.

The undying victim be the ladies. Sometimes, I really don't understand guys. When we give them space, they yearn for more. When we don't give them space, they say their breathless. Sometimes, they don't bother to know about your situation, when something happens, they'll say that we're not being honest. When we are, they frust.

Why is it that the can be so distance from us? A day without hearing their voice, ladies go worrying and missing them so much. They can go months wihout intialising to meet their partners.

I'll go haywire if I don't get to meet Shnookie for a week. Least Shnookie drops by whenever he can.

For someone that I know, married with two sons. She's out there being the sole-breadwinner in my eyes. Husband being nothing more than just a human in the household. Job hopping everytime. Uninitiative and insensitive towards the wife's feelings. He's like taking the wife for granted. Even when they dine out, it's she who pays for the meal. Dine out means restaurants.

Gosh, boyfriends, please improve on your attitude, please be sensitive. Treat girlfriends how you want to be treated.

Neglect us, left behind and don't regret - we ladies are ought to choose from the lot. Who wouldn't want the perfect husband? Afterall, it's the husband who leads the family. If the husband is insensitive, irresponsible and inconsiderate, don't ladies think you're worth nothing but the road tar - you're easy to get anywhere.

Monday, November 26, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 4:45 PM

I admit I can be schizophrenic sometimes. Not that I'm certified with that, just that sometimes, I find myself that way, lately for sure-ness.

Yup Shnookie, that I can be off-track a lil when it comes to handling with problems. I rather sometimes keep my deep thots or problems within myself, find my own solution, unknowingly be effected by it till Shnookie realises it and tells me about it. Somehow, you're able to detect by my movements and judge with what I'm going through.

I'm pretty much affected with loads of things happening around me. Somehow things this year are really hectic for me. From heartbreaking start, which led to depressing one 'D+' in my result in 2 yrs, with the sudden change in everything, addition with the stressful yr3 semester 1, and financial constraints, then parents' constrain when I first met Shnookie, plus the undecisive plans of my future plans, to depressing Hari Raya, worst with Shafi'e mishap, rising family problems.. Shed many tears.

I've taught to be independent, thus when things starts to quake, I rather lock it within. But I've been forbidden to do that now thanks to Shnookie. But my point stays, sometimes, things are just too complicated/personal to share it with.

I've become more tempremental and impatient. I hate being that way. I just need to figure a way to overcome all of this. I hate it when in the end, Shnookie becomes the undying victim. He's just so nice, too nice to suck in all my bitch-ness. Help me out and cheer me up.

It just sets me thinking all the time, that how is he just so able to do so?

Make me invincible. I want to be strong so that no one can push me around ever again. I want to weigh myself down so my feet stay on the ground.

Least not let the strong unqiue chemistry be affected with surroundings.

Grow mature. Shnookie's afterall the best person for me. He's the only soul who definately understands me inside and out.

I ♥ Squadron 1:03 PM

Congratulations to sgrsf182, dolphink and adelina_09 on your successful bid for the iPod Nano. Our colleague in charge will be in touch with you soon.

Ouh yea, ouh yea. New Ipod. New Ipod.. Can't wait can't wait..!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 10:38 PM

Show flat as promised. I'm totally in so love with that flat, imagining myself living at 40th storey. With no disturbance, but the beauty of nature view at sight.

5 room flat costing 300k. That's really sorting out financial issues to many considerations. Gosh. But just 3 mins from MRT, with nearby market and LJS in sight.

Ikea Queenstown next in the plan, then headed back home. A lil off-mood with the end. Hahaha.

Usual couple-tiffs. But we're good, aren't we Shnookie. Just two seperate points of view. sheesh.

Tara Safinah Poston, my newborn Eurasian niece. Father's european fair skin, mother's asian eyes.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:59 PM

Fetched me from NUH, and we headed to Bugis Village after eons since we've been there.

Discovered loads of things that I've been looking for since months ago are found there.

KFC for a hearty meal, before proceeding with the rest of Bugis viewing. That one deco that captured my heart, the lights that were artificially hung up.

Mount Faber thereafter, where I discovered about Jurong Island, the burning chimey that's kept lighted with a reason. Cool-ness.

Loads of folly before headed back home.

Found a place that we fell in love with. Will go for show flat tomorrow..!

Friday, November 23, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 10:37 PM

"23rd November? Thats a long wayyy to go! Can I elope for attachment and come back married..?"

Gosh, I said that just 3 months ago and today, I'm parting from ECQ. Somehow, deep down inside, I'll really miss working with ACES team @ SC. Those IT Geeks are really fun to be with. I was just starting to feel comfortable being in SC and now, time has taken me away. Will miss being called Bryan 2 by Anil. Speaking malay with Benson, get disturbed by the SC people there. Ouhh well, it's now back to schoool..!

Kay stop being emo Kilah.

Collected the VS I ordered with Beauty Desires after work. Must say, good job and thumbs up for the excellent transaction since day one. Only one thing, now I don't wish to give Siti the body mist. Kay maybe she can have the paper bag. Hehehe. Soo now I'm back to square one: Ralph Lauren or Victoria's Secret?

So, didn't go and see Shafi'e today. He's doing on consistent recovery. Alhamdulilah.

So then, Shnookie seems really serious about the bike this time. Considering he gets his liscence soon-ish, then maybe new year comes new bike. Heavy-hearted to part with his yellow CBR, who's of my age (=

But really contented with what he's told me. I'm glad this time round, it's for real.

Alhamdulilah.

I ♥ Squadron 11:30 AM

Shnookie: Mama papa nak beli bike baru....
Me: Papa, mama ngok website honda 600rr 14k. Then cbr1000 18k. R6 14k.
Shnookie: 14k r6 600cc
Me: Yes papa. R6 ada dua model. R6 06 14k 110bhp/14100rpm. R6s 13k 110bhp/14100rpm. Both 600cc. R1 17k.
Shnookie: Mama nak mana
Me: Ask mama lak.. Motor naik pun sama. Papa like mana satu papa pick. Kan ur horse.
Me: Motor u dah la besar. R6 bigger, then R1 i rase i dgn anak2 kite blh naik. Hehehehe.
Shnookie: Hehehe. mama papa da book yamaha r6 m version. hehehe
Me: Oit! Main book je! Brape harganya? Y nt we go n survey2?
Shnookie: Hehehe. Da book mama hehehe
Me: Ish papa.. Da calculate btul2?
Shnookie: Insyallah ada mama. Papa keep aside 4 our marriage.
Me: U eh.. Nanti review alik financial (= melayang jugak i nanti naik motor ngan u. I tersangkut nanti pat pokok how?
Shnookie: Papa ambik mama.Motor ni pelan mama.As long mama suka.
Me: Mama suka pat the biker, not the bike (=

And the bike topic goes on.... hehehe

Melayang jugaku nanti

I ♥ Squadron 9:36 AM

Lóreal on sale. It's nearing.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 10:25 PM

Dinner with Nurul + Siti = The girls who turn sepets when they smile.

At LJS. Bumped into old friends - Vincent, Mu Hua & Barry. Friends of lower secondary school days. Friend who made the class extremely fun to be in. Miss those real old days, Vincent still looking same, Barry had a makeover and Mu Hua looking matured. Should go out with them soon-ish. The 107/207 gathering. sheesh.

And my back pains making a come back. shittos. i hate when it rains, or when it gets too cold. joy ruins. faggot shitty blackie stupid pains. grrrr..! frust frust!

I ♥ Squadron 6:11 AM

Right Nurul, the podcast I've been waiting for didn't come out la. Heard my voice once after waiting for 2 weeks. Grrrr..!!

Hahaha, well, but then, I've got the mp3 version soo bluek! I can hear my ugly voice everyday. Lol!

RSI Podcase - PSP

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 6:16 PM

The greatest news after a week of heavy heart. Shafié back conscious and responding to us. He remembers us as well. Alhamdulilah, our prayers were finally answered. The day we all awaits has finally arrived.

Will visit him soon-ish.

I ♥ Squadron 10:30 AM

Kay come, I declare myself a temporary bankrupt before I really turn to one.

Why?

I'm going to be a bankrupt soon! With the non-stop sprees. The non-stop shopping. I'll stop going to malls, but the internet, voom! It's just too wide to be restricted. Ouuhh with the nice long sleeves, dresses, good bargain makeups and body essentials. Hehehe.

Eyes-popping, mind-blowing to many things I've seen on the online shops. Kay gosh Shark, stop it eh. Confirm nanti kena marah.

Me: Fidah ask you to buy for me makeup from her online shop.

Shnookie: Yelah, that time I brought for you and we ended up fighting. Takot I nak belikan you lagi.

Me: Yelah, it was too expensive.

Shnookie: But I know how to manage my budget. Even the perfume you like you didn't let me buy for you.

Me: Hehehe, I don't like the smell. But nasib baik you tak beli, in the end I nak Ralph Lauren nye perfume.

Me: You wanna buy for me things I don't want, things I want you don't want to buy for me.

Shnookie: Kay, end of this week we go shopping.

Me: What for?

Shnookie: I wanna buy for you something. Dah lama.

Me: Satu je? I nak sume. Heheeh. At my blog, ade wishlist, get me all kay.. Nyehahaa.

Shnookie: I'll be burning a hole in my pocket.. May as well I beli motor kan.

Me: Get for me all kay, tak mahal.

Shnookie: I want to get for you that one in far east, yg lain you buy yourself. Nyehahaha.

Me: Ahh tu kan, yg I tak nak you nak belikan! Chet!

I think I know him too well.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 9:35 PM

Back to being a bookworm again, not yet, but soon-ish.

After the mind-sweeping books by The Little Black Dress. The perfect book for girls/ladies there who's in for some romance, comedy, shopping and those who are giving up on love like me, well literally, just that I happen to meet someone special.

It's time I used that wedding gown bookmark of mine to good use.

Still gotta get that HP& The Deathly Hollows. I am so back dated. To think that Time's having a 40% off this book. Ouuuhh myy!

Monday, November 19, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 10:41 PM

49 years of living age, today Mama celebrates it. Nothing fancy, just a simple cake. The plan for feast out at Istanbul was cancelled due to unforseen circumstances, plus the gift too.

Semoga panjang umur, murah rezki dan sihat selalu. Dijauhi malapetake dan segala kecacatan. Moga segala amal ibadatnya diterima Allah. Insyallah.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:21 PM

Ten minutes and he's contented.. Gosh that fella, ten minutes is all he needs and he'll be a happy man for that day. For just ten minute I was with Shnookie, after his soccer at St 12.

Dressed up and off to NUH, visited Shafi'e and seems he's getting more responsive. His eyes are more wider, tho he was sleeping the whole time today. Just gotta keep the tears back, not let him feel that we're shedding tears for him. He's alright, but will be going through another brain ops tomorrow, hopefully, his fever by then subside.

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up soon please my dear brother...", Zie.

Didn't celebrate mama's bdae as Darwisy's doing with fever, maybe coz he didn't get his vacuum. Hehehe. My darling fetish for vacuum nephew.

I ♥ Squadron 9:22 AM

Upcoming gigs this december. Eons since I step into the music world.

Substation.

Scape.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:59 PM

My new list to fascinations: Trucks and Buses.

Simply because, I was caught playing with it. Hahaha. Darwisy's trucks and buses somehow really attracted me and brought me back in time when I used to love cars HotWheels and trucks. Had a trucksloads of fun in the early morning.

Then baking of Apple Cinnamon muffins and Bluberry muffins after long since I touched the oven. Apple Cinnamon was a success!

Collected the phone from AMK Hub, headed to Lil India to get my Indian Pretzel and Suji, then to ECP and unknowingly we sat there for 5 hours.

I ♥ Squadron 5:52 PM

This is really agitating. I need to go get my liscence soon-ish. Insyallah, save money, get that liscence, and that dream bike..

I really want my Aprilla 150.

Friday, November 16, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:59 PM

"No overtime till tuesday, the cut off date."

Yayness for me! Yayness to the fact that more of Shnookie's face be of existance..

Visit Shafi'e with Shnookie. I'm pretty much elated with a heavy heart. Still to see him lying on that bed, non-communicative of him. Alhamdulilah, he's responding to what I'm saying. His left arm is moving when I spoke to him, his eyes are moving, tries to turn his head left to right. Talking to him, giving him motivation and prayers are the only thing that we have now. He wants to move back home. Just not the time yet. Maybe the meds are taking a huge toll on him.

Thank God, for answering my prayers. Really want him to wake, come celebrate birthday together with me, Adi, Shamsul and Danish along. The december babies in the family.

I ♥ Squadron 10:55 AM

A face speaks a thousand personality, if you know phsycology.

A picture speaks a thousand words, if you know photography.

Simply because I love art, I love these. Including music and free painting. Photograpy to me is capturing that special moment, tho it doesn't capture experience of it. Appreciate it since the start of my fascination with wonderful photography. Thus the cybershot that I've got which got stolen then.

Would love to capture the nature, people and creatures. Real awe with Wan's photography shots.

Credits to Ridhwan.

I've got a fascination with an expensive hobby.

Did I hear someone getting for me this Nikon DX40?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:59 PM

Idea for hospital visit was sidetracked. Along with ECP. Shnookie last min plans to go arcade after eons of not. Disappointed I didn't bring my ZoneX card. Packed with Polar cakes and 1901 Hotdogs, we took the toll. Off to Pasir Ris park.

Then the memories all engulfed in. Months since our last weekly visit. Feasted out on stone table forgetting our half-way goal to weight reduction. Packed with ground sheet we gazed the tinkling stars, dozed off and got woken up. Serenade to me Cinta Gelap and it all start back again.

3600degrees turn that I yearn, finally got it. Love this thursday night. Love to be doing what we both love to do again eversince we got busy. I'll never forget that place. The place where there's memories of tears, sweat, laughter and joy.

Where he showed me his 3600degrees of fun. Living life like Theme Park. Fun rides, thrilling fear and unexpected activities.

I ♥ Squadron 5:30 PM

Soooo we sidetrack with our plan: Both to ECP and to NUH.

Simply because of my mom.

Me: Mama, kalau Hisham nak gi ngok Eé pat hospital boleh tak?

Mama: Sembarang, kalau dia nak. Mama mungkin pun nak pergi ngan bapak kau.

Me: Ouh kayy. Naik motor?

Mama: Takda gini, suroh si Hisham ambik kau pat rumah, park motor dia pat rumah abih naik kereta ngan baba dan mama. Gi sama2.

Me: Hehehe, takpe lah mak. Dia malu. Nanti besok je kilah gi la.

And so I was right, the moment I told Hisham about this, he went berserk, well literally. Guessed his reaction.

Shafié doing better, tho still unconscious. He's now in High Dependency ward as told. Alhamdulilah. Promise to see him tomorrow with Shnookie.

I ♥ Squadron 3:37 PM

Here's my personal fear. A fear that I don't wish and prays hard it won't happen.

Everytime I finish my prayers, I'll ask pray to God for many but few things. One of it: Give me a proper husband, whose love for me does grow except for worst. Who'll stay faithful, soleh, responsible and the one who understands me inside out. I know I'm very unpredictable. Just the way that I dress.

For many stories about marriage I've heard. I think I've heard of the worst that could happen. Having to see your husband live with his ex wife when you're 4 months pregnant. Forcing you to accept his ex-wife as the second wife. Worst still, when nobody's there to support you, not even your mother. Your first pregnancy, your first marriage. And your husband's nothing but a stone. Doesn't seek for your love back, doesn't bother much but you.

There's lotsa stories in every failed relationship. I have mine too. For which I've buried with memories that I have with whom it may concern. Yet to burn the picture together along with the unfinished bass. And sell that bass he got for me.

For with the guy I'm deeply hearts, I'm really glad for what you have done for me since we were just friends. 32 just don't occur in my mind.

But then again, I've learnt something in love. Not how to love a person, how to please a person. But to let the person go if ever he finds someone else, even if it's with his own ex. If he finds that he's happier with the new person. Then I'll let go. Don't trap a person and make that person life like living hell.

Eventho there were promises made by him. Remember: Siapalah ku ini.

I ♥ Squadron 3:00 PM

Shnookie had to do last minute OT again due to that mamak whom has always been giving tons and tons of excuses. Didn't visit Shafié last night then.

The ops went all good, and the ventilation it's been decreased today for him to try to do things on his own back again. Hope he's really doing better.

Since Shnookie's saying that he doesn't have to do OT, so we'll go see dear cousin today yup. Prays hard least get to meet Shnookie. I miss my private doctor. Hehehehe.

I've got to declare my new shopping buddy aka Mat Cermin Mata - Ahmad.

Hahaha. Went to shop for skinny jeans during lunch today at Penin. Weird but then he makes a good shopping buddy. His opinions are kinda good you see. Tho we hardly talked when we were in school, now we're like lunch buddies! Hahaha. See how IAP changes situation. It's his turn to get the skinny jeans tomorrow!

Can't wait to meet my owld owld mhann.. I miss Shnookie.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 9:03 AM

The doctor has already taken off his sedation yesterday, and trying to wake him up. But he still remains unconscious and having a high fever. The rest now it's up to him, to be awake, or remain unconscious. Have yet to see him.

He's going through another ops again today, the doctor's going to create a hole on his neck/throat to aid on his breathing and to remove any phlegm that is already accumulated. Gosh, not yet again. Insyallah, will see him today.

If Shnookie's not doing overtime today, will bring him to see Shafié. Didn't get to see him the other time Shnookie fetched me off NUH as visiting hours were already over. I just hope that my dear cousin, please wake up.

I guess time is the only wait. Wait for him to come to terms, maybe he's fearful, pain and shocked over it all. Imagine yourself, remembering yourself riding, dozing off a lil, waking up to a sudden shock and now, to see tube and casts around you.

I'll be afraid, like a small child lost in the deserted woods.

I ♥ Squadron 8:38 AM

It's an old joke that you can pick out the married couples in a restaurant because they are the ones who are not talking to each other. And yet, most people do not marry someone they cannot talk to. If you think back to the time when you were dating your spouse, were there instances when you had nothing to say to each other? Probably not. So what happened?

Good communication is one of the keys to strong and happy marriage. When difficulties in communication are not dealth with, they can breed to further complications. Hence, try to enhance couple communication by:

Be aware of your feelings. Good communication starts with understanding yourself.
Understand the other person's point of view. You cannot communication your point of view without understanding where the other person is coming from.
Spend at least 15mins of quality time each day catching up with each other.
Timing is important. It is best to talk about important issues when both are rested, sober and ready for serious talk. It's wise to avoid serious discussions when you are tired or too angry.
Respectful tones are helpful. Your tone of voice and body language communicate more than your words.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 10:06 PM

Finally bank in that cheque of not much money off attachment. What else in my mind?

Shopping...!!

Lotsa things I have/want to get. Another bag, pants, tops, pump shoes.

Yet to pay back Shnookie's $130 he spent for me on blades two weeks ago. Pls eh Shnookie, take the money eh. I just wanna be that blades as a momento of my hard earned work for my official office/IT FREAK/IT Expert job at SupCourt ECQ ACES. Kinda start to like this job as a geek. The errors you face everyday it's not the same. New bugs, new errors, new solution. It's like adventuring into the cyber world.

Side track.

Love the bag at Mango. A must to get it tomorrow. Plus more matured tops I've got tons of designed tshirts. More jeans as my sisters are now borrowing mine the whole time. Another pump shoe not the Ethnies or Gola, a decent one as compared to my North Star and yet mama's going to scream at me. "Kau nie eh, byknye kasut. Yg tak pakai tu buang lah!". Summer dress plus slippers to go with my dress down days. A skirt with leggies.

Mama's upcoming birthday plus my darling Danish's bdae his falls just a day before mine. If I could, I'll start saving. It's time for me to start with that pracs lessons @ Ubi.

Shnookie: U see your cousin kena gitu U takot tak?

Me: Nak ckp tak tu bohong. But nasib org ngan nasib sendiri kan lain. To me, I rather learn from his mistake, then be fearful of his misfortune.

My dream to own an Aprilla still remains strong. With blessings and permissions from my parents, it's enough to make me go. Insyallah, I'll be safe on the road. Learn from people's mistakes and be vigilant.

Ajal maut di tangan Tuhan.

Monday, November 12, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 1:40 PM

Shnookie: Mama my side hujan so d heavy. Hehehe

Me: Ouhh bestnya! Blh tido. Hehehe

Shnookie: Patut mama tak nak keja. Hehehe

Me: Hehehe. Monday lagi U knw.. Kan best kan kan kan.

Shnookie: Wah my mama now getting very d lazy. cannot u know. Mama finish skol april kan

Shnookie: Wah my mama now getting very d lazy. cannot u know. Mama finish skol april kan

Me: Wehehehe. Nt lazy. Just nid a very lng2 holiday.. Best kan.

Shnookie: Mama finish study april kan? Tot papa nak tunang bulan 12 next yr insyallah

Me: Yup.. Bt mayb bulan 2 dah bis.. Bulan 12? Insyallah papa. Y suddenly thnk of it?

Me: Aik ada org 2 tak sabar eh? Hehehe..

Shnookie: Hehehe

Hahaha, someone suddenly comes up with the topic again leh. How leh. Hehehe. So cute, try to act cool with telling me about it, but I can sense your excitement already la, I know you too well kayy Shnookie.

Insyallah kay, when after I graduate I'll save money then we get engaged kayy Shnookie. See how excited you are, you sent the same message twice! My gosh, and I thought I was the excited one looking at gubahan artists' creations... Now, how to I tell my mama, baba and wacky sisters plus bro-in-law about this? Ouhhhh, not to mention my relatives. Weehehehehehahahahahahohohoh!!!! Nyehahahahaha!!!

KECOOOHHHH....!!!

I ♥ Squadron 10:20 AM

We grew up together. All 7 us. Kak Jiyah, Kak Aida, Nana, Shafi'e, Adi, Kila and Iskandar. We grew up real close. We were all 7 stucked like a chicks in the farm, waddling all in one group. Especially us 5 younger ones. Sleepovers, playground times, games, fights and precious childhood of ours.

Where were would sleep till late nights with sega at that time, rollerblading, bicycle, swimming. Whatever you name them. Family picnics what we love the best. Somersualts in the salting sea. Human burial in the sorching sun where we all get sun burnt and get scolded with our parents.

Till then we grew up and those died down a lil. Got busy with our lives, one by one got distant. Family gatherings all we have to meet up.

Till this one recent tragic. Shafi'e, why you? We grew up together. Don't leave us now. We've yet to enjoy adulthood together, awaiting who to make the next big step to marriage. Kak Aida's the married one with kids. Who's next on the line? We've got loads to share and experience.

Please be strong, fight this with us. Your talkative mom has bcome so silent. She hugs us for comfort, but she hides it. I see her tears makes me cry, I see you with those tubes, makes me cry. I'll always pray for your speedy recovery.

We still wanna make that special banner for you. We wanna see you walk back again, smile and laugh with us.

We all love you.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:59 PM

Went home with a heavy heart. When I stepped into the house, my mom was dazing outside the window.

I suddenly had this feeling I've not felt it eversince I met Shnookie. This gut instinct usually sense that something not good is bound to happen. This same gut feeling always turned out right.

Till I cried all of a sudden. Till I gave Shnookie a weird message, asking him to take care of himself real good. I cried while praying. Cry for Shafi'e, cry for the bad gut feeling of mine.

I just hope you get better. Hope that's the last ops. Then it's time for your speedy recovery.

He went for another ops to remove water off the brain. Head swelling lessen, hormones getting better.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 10:59 PM

Didn't got to the wedding dinner with Shnookie. I just felt like being at NUH the whole time. Sorry Shnookie, gotta bail on you last min, but it was sweet of you to send me to NUH, despite of already being late for the dinner. The moment I saw E'e (Shafi'e), my tears just can't hold.

Her 2nd year death anniversary is his misfortune.

I ♥ Squadron 1:28 PM

Mari kita sama2 sedekah do'a kepada Allayarhamah nenda Hjh Mutmainah bte Hj Ali. Semoga jazadnya dah segala amal ibadatnya diberkati Allah S.A.W. Semoga Allah menempatkan beliau diantara golongan orang yang beriman di SyurgaNya. Amin.

I really miss you grans. I miss you lots. The house isn't the same without you, the family has it's huge gap. It's like you brought the shining bright light together along your departure. It's been 2 years and I'm still hoping for time to rewind. Rewind to when I was little, where you would put all three us to sleep, where you would make breakfast for all of us, where you would tell us your lifetime experiences, where you taught me that swan paper crane, where you would just love holding my arms and say "Hmm, berisinya.." I miss you nenda. I love you.

I wanted to rub my skin against my grandmother's forever. She smelled of lavender and dried rosebubs and those thin tubes of Parma Violet sweets.

Link: My Grannie

I ♥ Squadron 1:12 PM

My dearest cousin Shafi'e has just met with a terrible accident along AYE. Self skidded his vespa.

Suffered fracture and broken arms, broken legs and he underwent ops due to blood clot in his right brain. Bumps and bruises were all seen around him. His ears and nose had dried blood in it. I could see his tears at the corner of his eyes. I could feel pain, fear and regret.

He's in NTU ICU now, praying for him to get well.

Ya Allah, berilah beliau peluang utk hidup, jauhi lah dia dari pada segala kecacatan, balak, dan keburukkan yg boleh menimpahinya. Ampunilah segala kesalahannya, terima segala amal ibadatnya. Sembuhkan beliau dan beri dia kembali ke hidupnya seperti dahulu. Berikan lah dia tunguk jalan yg sempurna, dan dekatilah dia kepada Mu. Insyallah. Amin.

Friday, November 09, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:00 PM

Stressed Nurul? Hahaha, poor her with her A's that's really costing a huge load on her brain cells, so we decided to go for some ice cream therapy, literally.

Ice-cream palour maniac for us at Ben & Jerry, after Mac's. Had a 3 mix flavours on waffles for us: Phish Food , New York Super Fudge Chunk and Chocolate Fudge Brownie not forgetting genourous choco fudge and M&M's. It's superbly sinful pleasure.

White Sands a lil before heading back home.

It'll be Waffles Factory next aite darling. There's always a reason for us to meet up.

Chunk Spelunkers

I ♥ Squadron 11:22 AM

Hi Shakilah,
Thank you for dropping by with your oh-too-kind words *blushes*......

Anyways, kindly refer my response to your queries :-

1) Firstly, what are the services that you provide other than the creation of wonderful gubahans?
- Innovazione takes in Brownie orders too (for gubahans). Other than that, we do have photography packages (wedding, engagements, Hot Momma, birthdays, cukur rambut...well, practically anything that can be photographed) available for our valued customers, like yourself, to enjoy.....our motto, Exquisite Experience yet price kawan-kawan!

2) Plus, for your gubahan, how are the price like? Do you charge as a package or as per customised base-dulangs? Plus, if I would like a personalized theme for it (for example Lord of The Rings theme), are the charges different or the same?
- Innovazione can only provide a proper quotation if we know what are the color themes that you may interested in and your confirmed itemised list of hantarans...our range is between $2 - $15 per gubahan. Our variety of color themes can be found in http://innovazione.multiply.com For new color themes or special request themes, exclusivity charges are incurred.

3) And how long (from my engagement) shall I book your services?
- Innovazione requires 3mths in advance for booking but there are very limited slots left till Dec'08 (I'm fully booked with gubahans & photography nearly every week for next year)....hence it would be good if you can lemme know which date is your event

4) Keep up with the good job. True rare to find someone with this talent. Anak melayu lagi. Hehehe.
- Your words are too kind dear......what I am doing now are all His Kurniaan...and psst...I'm not Malay....I'm a Chinese Muslim cos my dad's a Chinese *smiles*

So, certainly hope my response to your queries suffice. Hope to hear from you soon.

Thanks & regards,
Kak Anis
Innovazione - The Essence of Perfection

Thursday, November 08, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:59 PM

Yayness today we rollerblade till late night.

Finally get the try of my new blades with Shnookie at ECP. Skate from central to the end of ECP near OWB. I went on foot due to my blood clot and abrasion of the two little feet. Admired the sea for a while, where we had some talking to do. I'm glad it's easy to talk about anything with you Shnookie. I don't have to feel things alone, nor hide it from you. It's great that you understand me, I understand you too. Don't worry, aite. Remember that once we had a great fight about us? Well, my decision was to stay with you, love and cherish you. Insyallah, that'll be kept in my heart till eternity Shnookie. I'll stay sincere with you, I'll love you with my deepest heart. With you, life's like Cotton Candy. Sweet, fluffy, light, bright.

I ♥ Shnookie

I ♥ Squadron 1:28 AM

No doubt about it. The way people come and make a great impact on you. Not to mention those whom I lost touch with, those whom I used to love, those whom I used to spend great times together.

Shnookie's right. Everytime he says something to me, I'll keep myself thinking of it. Be it buying a top, making a decision, wise opinions, emotions and of course, changes and things that we both miss.

I remember the time when I first got to know him. I was with someone else, but in the verge of choosing to stay for him or finding my own happiness. He was just some guy who's way too old for a 19 me. My thoughts were pure and sincere, friendship of nothing more. Problems of mine soon climb and I was crying to sleep every night of it.

I appear to be of indian-origin to him. With my thick eyebrow and tanned skin. He appears to be someone pretty older than I've imagine, but I could feel that he'll be a great friend of mine. Which we did, and still are. He would be the one to console me in problems I was having with the other guy. He always make me laugh.

He captured back those laughter, jovial self I've lost for a long time. Something I've looked forward always after school - Meeting him & never fail to get bruises the next day. Why? He would just lift me up, carry me by his strong arms and shoulders, turn us 3600degrees and I just screamed my lungs out. It's like all my misery disappeared with the whirl wind. We'll play catching like small kids around anywhere. Void decks, carparks, malls, school canteen, walkway. It's like with him, I don't care what the world's thinking about me. He helped me find the real me. I didn't know that a 32 would do such things with me. I was shocked but elated. We were just friends then, he was the first person who could lift me up for spin me 'round. He was the first friend whom I've rode with. First person who cares to send me back home from school, tries to always make me smile despite of all the disadvantage that beholds him.

Till that one time, where we kissed, but I cried. He hugged me tight and wipe my tears. I was so afraid, I felt all so wrong, I felt I've cheated on him and the other guy. "I'm just a passing cloud" I said, but he said he'll prove it wrong. Watched the stars tinkle and the cold wind through our hair, witnessed the sunrise together and awed by the blue sea. "I don't know why but I love to hug you, it's like I feel that you yearn for something, for someone, for some love, some attention. You've long been independent, you need to depent on someone. But you not been getting any of it at all. Your sincere heart."

I'll never forget that day.

That very day he proved me sincerity.

He lost a stone while swimming and was searching for it in vain in the wide sea. Couldn't find it even after deep dives and long searches. All along I watched him searching for it in vain. He was helpless, but his courage pulled him through. When he got a hold of another stone, he was still as sad as ever. Till end of time, when all fails, he sat beside me. He said, "No doubt there are many stones in the sea. But the stones that I just found doesn't have the same texture, feeling and beauty as the one that I've just lost. If I could, I would have hold on tight to it and shower it with much sincerity. Don't lose something so priceless. It's a waste."

I thought about what he said, looked at my surroundings and understood him. As humans, we tend to neglect our love ones. Tend to forget the things they've done, the love they've shared till they vanish the next day.

He is a blessing in disguise, his genuine heart. I feel that he wants to shower someone with much love, but didn't get appreciated for it. He wants attention, care, someone who understands and accept him for all that he is.

Who would to have guessed we be together. With our parents', family & friends' blessing, we took that one step ahead.

We're much prone to eye-popping reactions, got vaccinated.

I can't even be angry at him for a single second. I see his face and I'll burst into laughter. Everytime Shnookie you ask me not to laugh, I'll end up in a laughing chain.

Insyallah, I'll be the best one for you. Insyallah, my heart won't change.

Hearts Hisham.

I've got a story of a 32 and a 19.

I ♥ Squadron 12:00 AM

My dear chat buddy Mr Syahid aka Ayid finally made a come back! After 3 months of failed meet-ups, he suprisingly was online when I was online! We both miss talking to each other, share with each other and just make fools out of each other. I met him online and we became best friends since then.

News Headline for tonight: He's new girlfriend's name is Shakilah!

She's 16 to 17. She's part-time model, full time student. She's his cousin's girlfriend's cousin. Great relations aint it. She's sweet and pretty.

And due to this, this Ayid was blinded by other girls, including detecting me when I was just meters away from him! Nampak org at bazaar why didn't you shout and call my name? What to say, he's in love. There's so much to share, so much to tell him. Ouh my I'm so excited.

Ayid, promise to come back online soon-ish kay. We got loads to exchanged!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:54 PM

Finally I've gotten the dinner dress at a good bargain! A transulent shawl, some accessories. All in such I think I spent way below my expected budget of $39.80. For a night's occasion, but a lifetime rememberence, I think it's worth it. Rather than that $90 dress though I still love it loads. Maybe that'll be for my upcoming prom if it's still there, if not just not my rezki. So yup, I'm pretty much prepared physically. Dinner date/wedding dinner for both of us. It's the dressing up theme. Hehehe. Just wanna see my man looking smart casual.

Thanks darling Sheera for following me yup. I miss those times, I do..

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 10:53 PM

Considering it's a malay wedding dinner. What shall i wear?!

I'm pretty much elated, so I went to shop alone, well, literally around Simei and Tampines. Found nothing cheap, but this dress that I've fallen head over heels with. My goshh, the lady was like "You look soo sexy and nice in it, you should get it". She almost brain-washed me, if I have the cash. Hehehe.

Told Shnookie about it, he said he wanna get it for me, then again, $90 for that dress? Then what are we eating on later??

Monday, November 05, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 10:42 PM

I've sent some enquiries to Wannie to know about her gubahan services:

Dear Shakilah
Thank you for your kind compliments :) It has been our motto since the launch of Gubahan Cinta do provide gubahan services with Love, Passion & Dedication :)

Btw, pertaining to your queries:

Our gubahan charges range starts from $14-$25 per dulang. (Comes with dulang berkaki, alas dulang and decorations for your barang hantaran). All strictly on rental basis only.

For any kind of customization, it depends on the type of customization eg. materials and such. It can cost more from $30 per dulang and above.

Since we are by first come first serve basis, we will close the date w/o notice once its full. Most bookings are done between 8-6 months in advance or earlier if it is peak period such as school holidays, PH, etc. So, I would advise you to book asap so that you are able to choose the colour theme of your choice (cos mine is by per colour to per customer) :) Else, you only are able to select the theme based on what is available.

Confirmation booking is needed in order to block the colour theme for your event date. I can only advise you on your total charges once you have selected the kind of dulang/gubahans and this is done during appointment. Usually i would advise a customer to put in deposit of between $80-$100. And also there is additional $80 on top of the total charges and this serve as security deposit. This security deposit will be returned to you upon the return of all my belongings in good condition and complete order. However do take note that should there be any missing pieces or damage, there will be additional charges to replace them and the security deposit will be forfeited.

You have to pass me your barang hantaran one month before the solemnisation date.

Returning of our goods is on the next day after the event, Monday or latest Tuesday.

Kindly give us a call to fix for an appointment. Hope to hear from you soon. Thank you for your kind support, Shakilah.

Wannie
Gubahan Cinta

I ♥ Squadron 5:30 PM

Considering it's a big day event for you, one of it in your life. Thus, making it special, perfect and real beauty it's what everyone would want to have in mind. Making the dream wedding come true.

Yes, mine I've yet to think of. Like what I've told Shnookie about my plan for a wedding. Just legal registry with ROM, a Tok Kadi, a mini celebration among the closest relatives and friends and gubahan.

But he insist that we should have a proper one, like many couples do. To make it memorable and once a lifetime experience, and respecting our parents. Which parents doesn't want to see a big celebration, see the child up in the pelamin and inform the relatives and friends of how proud they are to marry off their child? I want to see that happen to my kids if you were to ask me :)

There's pros and cons to it. Pros I've stated it all, cons - Costs money. But then again, that's where your budget should be set. After thinking of it, maybe yea, I'll hold a real celebration. But that means - saving up least $15k. To cover all the expenses, the deco for both room and the void deck / CC, the Mak Andam, the cameraman & videoman, the gubahan, the cook and so forth.

Maybe having a grand wedding it's my deep lil secret, but I don't expect much of it now. Insy'Allah, ada rezki lebih, I'll make mine a grand one, make my parents proud that whatever education that they gave me gives me a good life.

Of course before nikha, comes the solemization - engagement. Shammy's been asking me about it, but I'm still in deep thoughts of it. Deeps thoughts of whether I'm ready for the serious knot. Not the man I'm having doubt of, just doubt with myself.

Well anyway, I'm pretty much am very, very, very excited to it all of a sudden. Maybe be not so sudden. I've been looking at wedding photos, and came across this company, rather lady Wannie from Gubahan Cinta, of all her creations and artistic gubahan. She does her creation with full heart and passion, with professionalism, with creativity and artistic ideas. I must say, the minute I see all the gubahan she's done for, I've fallen in deep love with her work. I'm so considering to support her, furthermore, she's anak melayu - infact, I've mailed her some queries. Hehehe. I know it's too soon, but never too early to plan right?

My personal favourites: Black and white theme, Black and Orange theme, Sangkar Burung Theme, Gold and Brown Theme, Black and Red theme this one I really love it loads, Black and Gold theme.

Or maybe mine, I'll give it the Lord of The Rings theme. Dash of gold, cream, white and silver. Hehehe. Well, shall start thinking of it now!

See, I'm so much excited - now, what shall be the gubahan items?

I ♥ Squadron 10:43 AM

Apabila dua mempelai diijabkabulkan
Terjadilah sudah dua suami isteri secara halal
Ia diberi nama pengantin baru
Bermulalah dua jenis manusia hidup di alam baru

Pengantin baru di satu segi hidup terhibur
Di sudut lain pula tanggungjawab baru muncul
Apabila ada anak tanggungjawab lebih mencabar
Rumah tangga akan hancur jika tidak bersabar

Diucapkan pengantin baru melayari kapal kehidupan
Dinasihatkan melayari kapal kehidupan dengan bijaksana
Hiduplah di dalam suasana kasih sayang dan bekerjasama
Agar kapal kehidupan belayar di dalam keadaan saksama

Cintailah Allah di dalam kehidupan
Syariat Tuhan jadikan panduan
Takutilah Allah di dalam pergaulan
Ia merupakan anak kunci, kedamaian dan kebahagian

Jika ada masalah di dalam keluarga berbincanglah bersama
Bertolak ansurlah di dalam keluarga
Suami hendaklah bertanggungjawab terhadap keluarga
Isteri dan anak-anak hendaklah taat dan setia.

Friday, November 02, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 10:10 PM

Ouh oouh ooouhhh!!!!

I've finally got my pair of Rollerblades today!! Thank you Shnookie for paying half of it for me first yes darling promise I'll pay you back!

Features include;
* 3 Tech shell with Power Lateral Support
* Specialized Rollerblade liner
* TFS Power and ratcheting buckle
* Extruded Alu-Tech frame (11.6”/275mm), Max wheel size 90mm
* Active 90mm/84A wheels
* SG9 performance bearings

It's a 50% off $458, so do math add $30 for the pouch that sums up to $259 in total. So much you see? I could have gotten the psp slim, but thinking that I'm dying to be able to skate back again, together with Shnookie now, so I've sacrifise psp for blades! Yippee, now I can skate.

Next on the mission: Get back all of my old skills and get that K2 skates!

Features include:
Enhanced Stability Cuff
Aluminum (ALU) Power 90
Frames90mm
83A Wheels
ILQ-9 Bearings

Thursday, November 01, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:05 PM

Didn't get to purchase my rollerblades today as Shnookie had to do last min OT, due to that mamak who suddenly went off when he agreed to stay. Shittos.

Thus, headed to Abg Eja's house today to just help out with his wedding preps. It's been eons since I last step that house, flashback just all gathers back to me. I'll always remember all the memories of the house, plus my grannie whom I dearly love till now.

So the deco and pelamin came today, and jus helped out a lil before heading home early as I'm working tomorrow.

The fact that Abg's getting married, it's still sucking slow. Hehehe

I ♥ Squadron 10:55 AM

Sky r grey,
going 2 rain,
rain stop,
change 2 sky blue,
get 2 know u,
was a starting,
from a starting,
makes a family,
u melt my heart.
U change my heart,
4 me 2 start new,
new chapter,
title,
u r my rainbow.
Cos i try 2 give u a rainbow after d rain.

<3 Hisham.D

He replied my poem, with much effort. The meaning's there, that's all that matters.

Unexpectedly
I saw a big
rainbow,

In the morning
sky that's
soft blue.

It's like giving
the sky a
colourful glow,

Like how my
life is after
I met you..

Morning Shnookie.

Love U.