Sunday, July 30, 2006
Admitted. I ♥ Squadron
11:05 AM
My dad's been admitted to CGH. It got servere and then we sent him to the hospital and then he was diagnosed with Jaundice. Jaundice in adults are not as easy to cure as babies. It is caused by the liver of a person. And then later on, as they checked on him, the said that he's suspected to have gall stones or whatever it is called. All I know that he has to undergo surgery to remove it and hope that everything is alrite. I am so scared for him. Plus he can't eat nor drink anything.. It is really scaring me hearing him in this condition.. Anyhow. I just pray that he gets better. And when we were at the A&E yesterday, we saw this old grandmother, who looks like my late grans.. Even my mom agreed on it. How I miss her soo much. I love her loads...
Thursday, July 27, 2006
I ♥ Squadron
1:10 AM
And my dad's condition is worsen. He's getting sick and more sicked as the days pass by. It's all due to his smoking. He's been smoking more than half of his life. Like about 40 years of his life is spent on wasting life by smoking.
And about two nights ago, he was rushed to the hospital due to stomach cramp that was severe. Neva heard my dad shouting in pain before.. It was scary.. I kept on thinking that he was going to die. I was praying hard when we were on the way to CGH. And I really felt that I should be in his place. Coz he's been working hard to meet the financial needs of the family, so shagged and old, and yet to have to suffer the pain. If it was me, it would have been better. I've had history of gastric, at least I know what to expect and how to control and manage the pain. I'm prepared. But my dad's a lil hot headed. He doesn't wanna stop smoking. Maybe he does, but he can't.
Like what happened today, was that he went out without bringing his so called 'life pack'. And the moment he reached home, he started puff away and then he felt a pain in his chest, and was like coughing and in pain. My mom was like crying and siriusly couldn't take it to see him in so much pain. Neither could any of us. Luckily Darwisy was there to be the tension reliever.
I guess the boyfriend is right, kids do make a difference. And I do hope for the day that my dad will stop smoking after much pestering from the 4 year old Darwisy. All I can do now is just pray. And hope that Allah will hear my prayers and protect my family from all kind of sickness. And the boyfriend and his family too.
Anyhow, I'm getting all so busy with school it's been 2 weeks since I met him. MISS HIM SOOO MUCH!!
Note: To the boyfriend, stop puffing. ;)
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Things come unexpectedly.. When they do, it's an IMPACT! I ♥ Squadron
1:08 AM
Wow. I can't say anything after reading blog belonging to the boyfriend. Something he said about me. Totally wow-ed me. I mean it's like a huge statement that's really strong. And I don't expect that coming.
And it totally is making me smile widely and make me feel totally special. Like I'm siriusly special. Neva felt this special. Neva expect the boyfriend to come and make a huge impact in my Book of Chapters. Neva expect the boyfriend and me to have this strong love. Stronger than I eva imagined myself experiencing it first hand. I've read books, love novels, and fantasied about all those unrealistic dream of mine. Coz I know myself won't go thru this kind of special relationship that the boyfriend and me share.
We're one complicated couple, and I assure U, far more complicated than U think it is. It grows deeper and deeper, and eventhough there has been many fights, shed of tears and aching hearts, the magic gets stronger and stronger, like there's a forcefield shielding us both from misery and pain.
Honetsly, I love me enemy. He's my enemy, my friend, my lover, my shoulder, my tension-reliever, my everything. He's a piece of my heart. Shark hearts Nizam.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
If U Remain Silent in a Moment of Anger, U'll Save Thousand Moments of Sorrow.. I ♥ Squadron
1:39 AM
It happened once again. The promise I made, that I finally broke. Not to say that I was hoping for it. But to say tht I've neva dream of repeating what wrong I ever did towards.. Nihow, it's pretty major. And I think my relationship is complicated. Maybe too complicated for us now. For anyone to really undestand us. I agree Ayg, that we should put an end to this relationship. Coz I think it's totally not the right timing. Plus with my attitude that's not toleratable. I admit. I'm in the wrong. I know. You've said it before, the tone of my voice. That I've been trying to control, to adjust and get over with. I did, somewhere in the middle. It's just that when I'm angry, I tend to be like that. Maybe now I know, that I'm the type who won't admit defeat. That's good. But not entirely. Especially when I'm in the wrong in the first place. "If you remain silent in a moment of anger, you'll save a thousand days of sorrow." I should have sticked by that. Like what I've been doing. It made me move on fine in life. But I guess, that small mistake made it big. I made it big. And I sincerely, am apologising. I think there's no way I can erase that off me. I told him I'll neva be against him, and that he should control his temper. But I'm the one who makes him lose his temper and make in all racked up. Don't U think that I'm not helping at all? I can't bear to see my loved one hurt, but why am I causing him pain? I know I love him so, but I can't bear to let him go. But I don't wanna think about how I feel. I think I should put him first hand here. I'm adding to his problems and misery. I don't want to be the one that caused him not to change for the better. Ayg, U should concentrate on yourself, and forget me. I think it's best coz I don't wanna hurt U any further. I'll love U always.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Me. I ♥ Squadron
1:22 AM
Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Is It Love That U're With Her? I ♥ Squadron
8:49 PM
Never hurt someone if you're not realli interested in them in the very beginning ... Life is like a wheel of karma ... U hurt someone on purpose ... U'll get hurt in return, and trust me, it'll hurt even more than U did to them. That's what I call, sweet revenge. Maybe the girl you hurt won't hurt you back, instead, it'll be someone else. Then only, U realised, I shouldn't have hurt her, and thinks "Let me apologise to her and make things straight." Yea, apologising would be a great idea. But are U trying to get her back? And decide to stick to her for a lifetime, coz U feel like she is sincere and wouldn't hurt U, eva, coz she loves U so. They say: Tears are not worth to shed for a guy. And the ONE who is worth YOUR tears won't make U cry. That's true and I truli believe in that line.
Anyway, to the point I wanna hit here. Before U get into a relationship with that someone, think carefully will U? Don't eva mistake some other feelings for love. Coz then, U'll definately get hurt and the someone will get hurt too. Think about this. She loves U so deeply. Like she's neva felt love. She truly thinks of U first hand. Like whatever she's about to do, she thinks of your feelings, putting her own satisfaction/wants aside. Coz then, when she sees U happy, she feels happy. Then U tell her, " I love U, be my girl". She'll surely thinks that U love her the way she loves U
Don't U feel touch when U're in total sorrow, with no one to tell your depressions to, then this one fine day, someone came thru your hind doors and show that she/he cares and wants to help U as much as she can? I know that feeling. I went thru it. The 'touched' feeling U had, you mistook it for love. And U keep on telling yourself, U love her dearly. Love her the most watsoever. Then U tell her, and she thinks that it's the same type of love she has towards U. U got into a relationship U say U wanna get sirius with. And slowly, U tend to do bad things behind her back. Like contacting girls, meeting them up and so on. She finds out, and she's weeping and totally hurt. Why do U do that if U love her so? Didn't I mention, if U love someone dearly, U won't make him/her cry? Let alone be hurt by U? U'll treasure her the most and treat her like a precious priceless diamond. Now, do U think you're worth her love? I know I'm sounding cruel, but U have to be mean to be nice. Right?
I'm glad mine isn't like that.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
IHEARTNIZAM. I ♥ Squadron
11:24 PM
Im going mad. Like people in the Mad Hospital. I heart Nizam. That's all I can say that's from my heart ;)
