.: Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds :.

Monday, March 03, 2008

I ♥ Squadron 10:56 PM

I really am out of ways and words to prove to you how much I really love you, head over heels. I've tried to shower you and show you how much I really am in love with you, all the brain cells and all my heart vessels.

But still.. You seem to be in doubt. Why?

My age? My inexperience? My life which has yet to open up? Is it because I've not come across a super rich young fella? Our 13yrs age gap? Or is it because, you never really wanted me in the first place?

Which one, Shnookie? Which one?

I know papa, I'm very young. Still has a loooong way to go. I appreciate you thinking of my happiness first hand. Worrying that I'm making my outermost worst decision to marry and spend my whole life with the wrong guy, in this case you. I know you fear that you can't provide me much. You have so many insecurities on yourself, that you fear the worst for me. I know you want me to think it through and through.

Which I have. I'm aware. I'm just a mere 20yrs old. I'm aware, of my decisions. I'm sensible enough not to make the wrong decisions, the wrong move. I know, many people has doubt my capabilities, thinking I'm naive and can be made out of folly. I've come across with these people, but I have never, fallen into their stupid traps, or cursed lips. I've been guided by the Noneother. I've seen more than what these people have seen. I've felt more, I've thought more and I've mature.

My dearest Hisham/Shnookie.
Eversince I first saw you, my deepest wish is to keep you as my life long friend. Remember the first time you brought me to the beach? When the sun was reaching the sky, you hug me and said how much you really want to spend the rest of your life with me? The time you were searching for the lost stone with deep dives into the uncalm sea? I was just sitting on the sand, watching, studying your every move and amazed by your perseverance. I was so touched. I've never seen so much love that a guy is willing to shower his partner. Your undivided attention and time you gave me despite me just treating you just as a friend then. How you waited patiently for me to open up again, and accept your sincere love.

Do you know why I took some time to accept you? No, not due to your age. No, not due to your shortcomings. But because I ask myself, "Am I able to shower him with love the same way he shower me? Am I the most suitable person for him? Will he be happy with me?" I didn't have those answers, but you gave me the confidence. For I have long accepted your shortcomings since I first became friends with you.

Remember when you said all you have is a house, which is not even nice with just a 400cc bike and will be taking care of your parents?
My answer was: How certain are you life wouldn't improve in the long run? Are you the writer of your life? Taking care of parents is a responsibility that one should always never fail to fullfill.

Wasn't I right about it? Now, you even own an R6 600cc bike. Getting a better prospective with better pay. Life is unpredictable. As long as you work for it, believe in Allah, Insyallah, things for you will improve. Allah is fair. He wants His men to work for a living.

My decision is clear, and it has always been. I love you, with all my heart. And I've come to your life, to stay, grow old with you and take care of your parents and mine till end of their eternity, Insyallah. Go through thick and thin with you. For you make me look forward to the next day, give me thousand reasons to smile everyday. To live life fullest and never stop believing in Allah. Pray and work for success. You've showed me priceless experiences. I've never regretted eversince. I'm waiting for the day you say the vow and place the ring on my finger.

Simply, I ♥ Hisham.