.: Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds :.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I ♥ Squadron 4:55 PM

I'm in this cross road once again. This cross road that I'm caught for the second time in my life. But this time, it's a more complicated, complex cross road that I must choose from the many paths that I can see. The cross road that needs a compass, a guidance, a friend and confidence.

4 weeks is all I have left. 4 weeks to the start to adulthood. I don't deny, I'm in total denial that I'm graduating, with a diploma, inexperience and clueless of where what next up for me. I have many things I wish to do.

Graduating with a diploma, I'm contented and proud of myself. That I managed to get the least of qualification for a stable income.

But my dream of a good degree Bachelor's Honour's is still the biggest achievement that I've yet to attain. I've made up my choice of path when I was in year2. But it all changes when comes year3.

The year that I met the greatest guy. The guy whom I'm head over heels with.

With our difference of a decade plus three, sometimes, it does make an impact with the path that I've chosen eversince year2. If I were to pursue degree, it'll take me the least of 4yrs more. Tho that's my biggest dream, sometimes, you have to make sacrifices. I can't afford to be ignorant towards his dreams of settling down and head on with the next phase in life.

Life does begin at 40s for you, but darling, I don't wanna make you wait. Plus, i don't want people to talk with the 4yrs of mutual promise to marry.

Remember that one time Shammy? That one time we had this one major conversation and your decision was to let me go, for an opportunity to be with someone else better, financially stable and give me a new house to live in with. That one time you really turned your cold shoulder towards me, hurt me just to force my leave. My end choice was to stay through anything, and you came back my way. I'll never forget the despair, the disheartenment. I know from then, that it's all hearts with you.

What I'm feeling now its total disarray, hesitant, disinclined and in total quandary. I hope U help me out, please.