.: Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds :.

Monday, November 26, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 4:45 PM

I admit I can be schizophrenic sometimes. Not that I'm certified with that, just that sometimes, I find myself that way, lately for sure-ness.

Yup Shnookie, that I can be off-track a lil when it comes to handling with problems. I rather sometimes keep my deep thots or problems within myself, find my own solution, unknowingly be effected by it till Shnookie realises it and tells me about it. Somehow, you're able to detect by my movements and judge with what I'm going through.

I'm pretty much affected with loads of things happening around me. Somehow things this year are really hectic for me. From heartbreaking start, which led to depressing one 'D+' in my result in 2 yrs, with the sudden change in everything, addition with the stressful yr3 semester 1, and financial constraints, then parents' constrain when I first met Shnookie, plus the undecisive plans of my future plans, to depressing Hari Raya, worst with Shafi'e mishap, rising family problems.. Shed many tears.

I've taught to be independent, thus when things starts to quake, I rather lock it within. But I've been forbidden to do that now thanks to Shnookie. But my point stays, sometimes, things are just too complicated/personal to share it with.

I've become more tempremental and impatient. I hate being that way. I just need to figure a way to overcome all of this. I hate it when in the end, Shnookie becomes the undying victim. He's just so nice, too nice to suck in all my bitch-ness. Help me out and cheer me up.

It just sets me thinking all the time, that how is he just so able to do so?

Make me invincible. I want to be strong so that no one can push me around ever again. I want to weigh myself down so my feet stay on the ground.

Least not let the strong unqiue chemistry be affected with surroundings.

Grow mature. Shnookie's afterall the best person for me. He's the only soul who definately understands me inside and out.