.: Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds :.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I ♥ Squadron 11:54 AM

I don't know why it's starting all back again. Sometimes I wonder why did it all turn out so bad, even so why must I experience it if it's gonna be a big failure? Yeah i know as a lesson to learn, an experience to yearn. But then again, sometimes somethings that happen in the past doesn't mean will have the same reaction or solution for the problems that we're having or will be having..

if you're pretty much an optimist, to you it'll just be another passing cloud, but to those many i know, it's added pressure plus phobia to them. They turn phobatic till they give up in things easily. I know I've come to meet them in my life, not few but majority..

No fret that love is beautiful, some admire it, some yearn for it. some don't even get to experience it.. at least the real thing. and failed marriages to me is like something that can't be imagine. something that i fear. People tell me, "You'll be engaged by next year, we can tell." I'll be like thinking, am I sure that I wanna be married to this man all my life, this is a one way journey, no turning back. I just one it once in a lifetime experience. But it's getting scarier to me as the days go by. I don't want to be pressurized by our huge age gap that'll decide for me to settle down. I want it to be sincerely out of my heart that says I'm ready for the real journey in my life. "Woman has 3 rings in life, Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring and Suffering."

Hah. sheesh. sometimes, i think maybe i should really do some soul searching. do some straightening between myself and i. get it all straight before i make the huge step forward. I don't want to regret or wish for something else when I've made the step.. a two years ago i was confused on which guy to take. now im confused of which correct decision to make.

Afterall, im just 19.